In context with recent events, It feels more important to talk about the topic of self care. Self Care is commonly used by people with mental, physical, chronic, or other types of illness as tasks to keep them feeling as good as possible, or in the BDSM community as acts after more stressful or intense acts and scenes, I feel it should be used more in day-to-day life. Stressful events can make self care even more important, and I wanted to highlight some ways self-care is done, to maybe try and get people feeling better.
Self care is an important part of everyone’s life, whether they realize it or not. Having coffee or any other drink you like, talking to a certain friend if you’re feeling out of sorts, or doing something else you like are all self care, they’re something you might be doing to take care of yourself. Consciously practicing self care can be harder though, as it’s practically impossible to make yourself feel better knowingly, at least in my case.
Sometime self care is incredibly hard to motivate yourself to do itself, and that can be okay. After any sort of stressful event, reactions vary wildly between people. There’s no one “right way” to react to anything, and beating yourself down because you;re not reacting the same way to something as others are is incredibly harmful. As long as you’re keeping yourself as safe as you can, there’s no need to worry or rush. Self care is about treating yourself to things, to be a positive to counterbalance the negative things.
The following is by no means a full list, everyone has unique likes and dislikes and you should look to things that make you happy first and foremost, but these things are generally enjoyed by everyone, and can make for good self care activities, either ones that are more complicated or one that are quick, easy, and involve minimal energy.
Sleeping can often be hard to do if something stressful is weighing on your mind. This can cause people to not get enough sleep, which then causes them to be more tired and get more stressed out because of their lack of sleep, and the cycle can continue in that way slightly. Even if you can’t sleep, lying down if you have the time can be relaxing and makes you feel more rested. Be careful though, because sleeping too much can also start affecting people negatively after a while (I am very guilty of this).
- Taking Showers/Baths
I completely understand that showering, taking baths, or getting clean in general can be hard. A lot of people don’t realize just how much effort it can take just to get ready to step into the shower or tub. But if you can, I think things generally feel much better after I take a shower, and my general outlook on everything is better, too. It gives me time to think, and getting clean feels good on top of that. If you have a bathtub, using cute bath bombs or bubble bath is a nice touch, and if you have a shower, you could use nice smelling products for your hair and body.
Many people find that there’s something satisfying about being able to take ingredients, some of which are inedible beforehand, and turning them into something warm and filling. It also has the added benefit of leaving you with something to eat once you’re done, and having a stomach full of food you’ve made yourself can be satisfying. The internet now even has places where you can input the ingredients you have and it suggests recipies for you, making it a very slightly more accessible. One such place is here, SuperCook.
Singing along to your favorite songs can be incredibly satisfying. You can express emotions from the song, just practice singing and sound rad while doing so, or make up ridiculous lyrics to the tune of a sing playing in the background. Singing can be incredibly relaxing to me, and while not everyone likes it, I feel like everyone should try singing along to their favorite song at least once, if private if you can. Let yourself go and sing however you want,. even if you think it doesn’t sound good. No one’s listening, and it can be fun.
- Being Creative
There’s such a broad range of things that fall under creativity, and I felt that listening them all one by one would be excessive. Dance, draw something, write, make some music, whatever your creative outlet is, you can do it. Even if you haven’t done something in a while, years even, if you want to go for it, you should. Even if you feel it’s not your best, you still created something, and put a bit of your time, energy, and self into whatever you made, and that is something to be proud of.
- Using Makeup/Cleaning Up Your Appearence
This can go along with taking a shower or bath, making yourself look good to yourself is incredibly validating, and could make you feel better about yourself. Fixing my eyeliner is one way for me to feel more sure of myself and more in control of any situation I’m in. Experimenting with makeup can also be fun, if you have some lying around and you want to try. No one judges you if your makeup doesn’t look professional, we all have to start somewhere, and no one got to flawless contouring without practice. For people that don’t use makeup or don’t want to, washing your face, putting lotion on, and styling your hair in new and different ways can also make you feel better. You don’t need any skill to have fun with changing your appearance temporarily, and if it makes you feel happy, you should go for it!
- Distancing Yourself
Distancing yourself from the situation that’s causing stress can be incredibly helpful, especially at first. I prefer reading to bring my mind somewhere else, but things like video games also do a great job. Talking to your friends can also be helpful, even if, or especially, if you don’t talk about what happened. Talking about less heavy topics or sharing cute cat photos is a good way to feel better.
This post barely even mentions, let alone looks into the role of self-care in BDSM relationships, and I suggest looking elsewhere if you want information on that, such as checking out this post by blogger GirlyJuice.
I’m sorry that this talk is a week late, various stresses affected my ability to post. This lateness will not affect my upcoming review on the 21st, or any future updates. There will also be a bonus post or two next month, because I hit 50 Twitter followers!