Sex! If you’ve talked about having sex with anyone lately, it’s pretty safe to assume that the phrase “safe sex” has come up. Referring to talk and use of contraceptives, lube, consent of everyone involved, and other important aspects of sex like safewords, it’s a good thing that more people are talking about it. But sometimes people forget simple things, or don’t think about them. This is just a small overview of things you can do to have safer, better sex.
Condoms, or any type of contraceptives, are important to discuss before having sex. Even if your partner has an IUD, implant, or other form of non-condom contraceptives, those don’t protect against STD’s and STI’s. Discussing this beforehand will help you prepare and get whatever you need. Condom materials are also important, as many people have an allergy to latex, one of the most common materials that condoms are made out of. Polyisoprene is a common substitute. Also, having sex with a partner that couldn’t result in pregnancy isn’t an excuse for not using condoms! Once again, STD’s and STI’s can still be transmitted easily. Dental Dams are good for oral sex, and if you don’t have one, cutting the ends off a condom, then cutting it lengthwise, can mimic one.
I know, I go on about lube far too much. But lube is essential to sex, if not using it, at least discussing it. Some people don’t like using it, and can produce enough of their own natural lubrication that they find it unnecessary. But if anal sex or play comes into the picture, lube is much more necessary. Butts don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do. Using a thicker lube is better, something like Sliquid Sassy. Something that I’ve seen is anal desensitizing cream. These types of numbing products are HIGHLY unsafe. Pain is your body telling you to stop. Using regular lube can stop much of the pain, as it makes things more slippery, and it does so in a safe way.
Talking about any boundaries your partner or partners may have is essential. It creates a safer, more accepting environment, and that leads to more comfortable partners, and a happier sexual encounter, meaning better sex. Listening to your partners needs can also clue you in to what they like, meaning you can please them better too. Establishing safewords or phrases can also help, in any sexual encounter. Knowing just what exactly means stop is important, and a non-negotiable part of having safe sex.
- Sex Toys
Sex toys in sex, surprisingly to someone like me, aren’t something that people universally like. Besides asking if your partner(s) want to try out sex toys, including which one or ones specifically, It’s important to clean them all. Boil those dildos, stick them in the dishwasher, get the bleach and rub down your vibrators, make sure that They’re sterile. If you’re sharing them between partners before you can wash them again, condoms can go on toys as well!
Besides condoms, getting the consent of your partner(s) is the biggest component of safe sex. Without consent, it isn’t sex, it;s rape. And consent for one thing does NOT mean that they consent to other things. Discussing your likes and dislikes, and any boundaries they have before sex starts, is the best way to define what they consent to and what they don’t. Listening to them during sex is also just as important
As usual, communication is one of the most important components of having safe, enjoyable sex. Talking with your partners beforehand is the best way to have good sex, and some people even find that it can help get them in the mood for it, by learning what their partner likes, and what they can expect out of the sexual encounter.